If You So Desire Page 11

  Ian, on the other hand, couldn’t focus on sailing because his eyes were fixed on Sage and the teeny-tiny bikini she was wearing. The bottom showed off her ample behind and, well, the top left very little to the imagination. Ian smiled at the memory of his mouth on the round globes and bringing her nipples to hardened peaks.

  As if she knew he was watching, her gaze locked on his from across the boat. It was an intimate caress and left Ian wanting to carry her downstairs to the stateroom and ravish her. But they were nearing Catalina, so his lustful thoughts would have to wait until a more opportune time.

  Catalina was even more spectacular than Malibu. In only a few hours, they’d moored at one of the many coves on the island and were now picnicking along the beach after a leisurely swim. Ian had changed into some swimming trunks, allowing Sage to revel in his well-defined chest and abs. They were eating the cold cuts and fruits that Sage had packed earlier.

  “That was delicious.” Ian licked his lips. “And now I’m hungry for something else.” He reached across the blanket they’d spread out and pulled Sage to him. He lightly brushed his lips across hers and when her lips parted, his tongue darted inside for a taste. He couldn’t seem to get enough of Sage. The more he tasted, the more he wanted. He caressed her bikini-clad bottom and she moaned.

  “You are making me so hot for you,” Ian groaned.

  “Then I’d better cool you off.” Sage rose, pulled Ian to his feet and ran toward the ocean.

  She splashed him several times before dipping into the cool, refreshing crystal-blue water and swimming farther out. When she emerged, she yelled, “You coming?”

  Ian still stood along the edge of the shore completely mesmerized. With her hair sleeked back and the water glistening on her brown skin and lush figure, Sage looked like some sea nymph that had just risen out of the water.

  Sage covered her eyes with one hand and brushed back her wet hair with the other so that she could see him. “Ian, did you hear me? I asked if you were coming in.”

  “Oh, I’m coming,” Ian shouted as he stepped into the water. He couldn’t wait to come and in more ways than one. When he reached Sage, she jumped on him, straddling his waist, and they began kissing passionately.

  He tasted salty and manly, all rolled into one. Sage couldn’t remember ever wanting any man as much as she wanted Ian.

  “Let’s go back to the boat,” she said huskily.

  “I thought you wanted to play,” Ian replied, caressing her bottom.

  “Oh, I do.” Sage winked.

  They quickly swam to shore, gathered the blanket and picnic items and headed back to Elusive. They had barely got down the ladder to the cabin before they were stepping out of their wet swimwear. They rushed toward the stateroom and joined each other on the bed.

  Although they were eager to be together, their union was far from hurried. Never taking their eyes off each other, they sat upright and took time leisurely savoring each other’s salty bodies. Nibbling, kissing and touching the other. Ian knew she was ready when he played with her womanly petals and found her slick and wet. He enjoyed teasing her, bringing her to a ripe peak and hearing her cry out his name with longing. When he felt she was ready to explode, he slid a condom on his enlarged shaft. Then he scooted Sage on top of him, wrapped her legs about his waist and slid inside her wet heat. Sage cried out in ecstasy as Ian thrust deep inside her and they came together as one.

  His movements were slow and controlled, but as the pressure and intensity of their lovemaking grew, so did his movements. Ian’s thrusts became quick in steady succession until neither could take anymore and they clutched each other in unison as an earth-shattering climax overtook them.

  The intensity of their lovemaking seemed stronger than ever, maybe because they were facing each other and watching the other person’s reaction. Sage was overwhelmed and apparently so was Ian because his body continued to spasm long after they’d come.

  “Are you okay?” Sage asked, holding both sides of Ian’s face.

  “I’m fine.” Ian glanced at Sage, but when he did, he saw such caring and compassion in her eyes that he lowered his head. He was a far cry from fine, but he wasn’t about to tell her that.

  Sage kissed one of his cheeks. “I understand,” she said, kissing his other cheek. “It was pretty incredible for me, too.”

  Ian didn’t respond. Instead, he remained quiet. Had she said something wrong? She must have because he slowly released her and extricated himself from her embrace. He rose from the bed without looking at her and seconds later she heard the shower.

  Sage’s heart sank. Had she revealed too much? Had her face betrayed her and revealed her true feelings? She always had a poker face in the courtroom, but matters of the heart were another story entirely.

  “How was the shower?” She tried to sound cheery when Ian returned with a towel wrapped around his midriff.

  “Great,” Ian replied. “I feel rejuvenated.”

  He’d had a few minutes to think in the shower and they were going to have a talk. Just now after they’d made love, he was sure he’d seen—dare he say—love in her eyes. Having never had it, he wasn’t even sure he knew what it was, but if it wasn’t love, she was definitely developing strong feelings for him and that he couldn’t have.

  He’d thought the rules of engagement had been clear. Enjoy the moment, no commitment. He wasn’t capable of offering Sage anything more. He’d never been able to before in his previous relationship incarnations, although if anyone was capable of making him want to try, it was Sage. But it was best she didn’t get any ideas in her head or be further invested on a scenario that wouldn’t come true. He wasn’t capable of love because as he’d told her before, he didn’t need anyone.

  “Why don’t you shower yourself and get changed.” He kissed her forehead. “And when you get out, we’ll continue our adventure.” He’d prearranged an overnight stay at one of the hotels on the island.

  “All right.” Sage scooted off the bed and hurried to the shower. Although small, it did the trick and washed the salty ocean water from her sensitized flesh. However, it couldn’t erase the fact that something had definitely changed between them the moment he stepped out of the shower. Sage just didn’t know how she was going to handle it.

  When she exited, she found Ian had changed into linen trousers and a pullover shirt. He was also zipping up his carry-on bag.

  Sage’s heart was in her throat. “Did I miss something?” Or were they over just as suddenly as they’d begun?

  “No, not at all. We’ll be staying at one of the resorts. You didn’t honestly expect us to sleep on this bed all night, did you?”

  “Actually, yes.” Sage had assumed they would be staying on board the sailboat. “But thank God I was wrong.” She smiled. Ian was nothing if not unpredictable.

  “I am not that much of a masochist.” He grinned, flashing those pearly whites she’d come to love.

  “Glad to hear it.”

  They took a taxi from the docks to the Catalina Canyon Resort and Spa. Ian had arranged for a king spa room complete with a private hot tub for them to play in.

  “It’s lovely,” Sage said when they entered the room. She walked over to the balcony and looked out over the resort. He’d left nothing to chance.

  “I thought we could have a nice dinner on the bay,” Ian said. “There’s nothing better than a view of the beautiful waters and cliffs.”

  “Sounds delightful.”

  They strolled hand-in-hand along the bay, browsing in several boutiques before settling on a seafood restaurant for dinner. Although the service was impeccable and the food delicious, Sage noticed that Ian was withdrawn. She knew he was used to changing sexual partners frequently, but had he tired of her already?

  “Is everything okay?” Sage asked, on the ride back to the resort.

  “Everything is fine.” Ian kissed her forehead.

  Later that night in bed, Ian was just as hungry for her as ever and they made love not once but
twice. He was passionate, yet giving—wanting to make sure Sage was satisfied. It made Sage wonder if she’d imagined his aloofness earlier.

  The next morning, however, Sage knew she was right because Ian was already dressed when she awoke. No lazy morning with the two of them cuddling and kissing in bed. “Good morning, sleepyhead.” He tousled her hair.

  “Good morning yourself,” Sage replied, throwing back the covers. “I see you wasted no time getting dressed.”

  He looked as sexy as ever in a T-shirt and olive-colored knee-length shorts. “We have a long day ahead, cruising back to Marina del Rey. I thought I’d get a jump start,” Ian explained.

  “Did I do something wrong?” Sage asked. “Because ever since yesterday afternoon, you’ve been acting distant.”

  “Was I acting distant last night when I kissed you here?” He leaned down and kissed her neck. “Or here?” He kissed the valley between her breasts. “Or here?” His hands traveled lower down her abdomen, but Sage halted him with her hand.

  Sex came easy for Ian, that much was obvious. But show genuine emotion and he was ready to run for the hills. “I suppose not.” Sage threw back the covers and headed for the bathroom.

  “Are you angry with me?”

  Sage spun around. “Why would I be angry?”

  Ian sighed. “Listen, Sage…” He paused as if mulling over his thoughts.

  Oh, here it comes, she thought, the ultimate kiss-off. “Say what’s on your mind, Ian, what’s been on your mind since yesterday.”

  “All right.” He sat down on the edge of the bed. “I enjoy your company and I love having you in my bed. I’m just not looking for anything serious. I just want to have fun.”

  Sage put her hands on her hip. “Did I ever say that I was looking for something serious?”

  “Well, no, but…”

  “There’s no buts,” Sage said. “You’ve made your feelings abundantly clear on the subject and I’m content with the status quo. Okay?”

  “Are you sure about that?” Ian asked, looking up at her, because she’d said that just a little too hastily for his liking. “Because you’re standing awfully far away.” Sage looked as if she was ready to bolt any minute.

  “I’m sure.”

  “Then come here.” Ian opened his arms.

  Sage walked into his embrace. “Why are you bringing this up now?”

  “Because…I don’t want to mislead you into believing that anything more can exist between us than what we have now.”

  Sage nodded. “I thank you for that, but I’m fine.” She bent down and brushed her lips across his. “Really, I am.”

  As he hugged Sage close around her midsection, Ian wasn’t so sure he believed her.

  Jeffrey called Ian while Sage was in the shower. He updated Ian on several pressing items at Lawrence Enterprises before asking, “How’s Catalina?”

  “There has been an unexpected wrinkle.”

  “Oh, really? And what might that be?”

  “I think Sage is developing feelings for me.”

  Jeffrey shook his head on the other end. “Ian, I warned you about getting involved with your attorney.”

  “She’s assured me that I’m wrong. That she understands the score.”

  “Okay. Then maybe you’re projecting your own emotions,” Jeffrey offered. “You could be seeing those feelings in her because you’re developing them.” Jeffrey had never seen Ian behave this way around a woman. Maybe he was finally starting to allow himself to feel true emotions.

  “What?” Ian laughed derisively.

  “Laugh if you want, but you’ve never cared about the feelings of any of your other women. Maybe I was wrong. Perhaps you should explore your feelings for Sage. She could be exactly what you need to be able to let go of the past.”

  Ian thought about Jeffrey’s statement. He was absolutely right. He typically kept his feelings in check. Growing up under Myles Lawrence’s thumb, he learned at an early stage to keep his feelings at the door, because they wouldn’t be tolerated or welcomed. But Sage was different. She wasn’t like the Lisas of the world, those whom he could impress with power and fame. She’d had a hard life and expected a heck of a lot more out of life, out of her man. Even if she cared, she’d walk away from him just as easily as she had her ex-fiancé. Ian didn’t want to dwell on that thought. He wasn’t prepared for Sage to leave him. He hadn’t had his fill. “How’s everything on the East Coast?” Ian changed the subject.

  “Well…I was going to wait to tell you about this when you got back, but Lucas has already started slinging dirt. He did an interview with one of the morning news programs about the discrimination he endured at Lawrence Enterprises.”

  Ian instantly became agitated. “That son of a…”

  “I know,” Jeffrey interrupted him. “That’s why you need to get Sage back as soon as possible to do damage control.”

  “Will do.” Ian hung up the receiver. It was time for their holiday to come to an end.

  “What’s wrong?” Sage asked when she emerged from the shower with a towel wrapped around her bosom. Ian’s face was clouded with rage.

  “We need to get back to New York, pronto,” Ian said. “Lucas Johnson has fired the first bullet and we need to retaliate.”

  Within an hour, they’d checked out of the hotel and were back on Elusive.

  Ian was an excellent boatsman and easily guided them back into the ocean and back toward Marina del Rey. Sage lay out on deck and let the warm sun rays and ocean breeze glide over her. She’d loved the outing to Catalina and the one-on-one time she’d spent with Ian.

  He’d been quiet ever since she’d returned from the shower. He said it had to do with the case and they would handle things once on land, but Sage felt it had more to do with her growing feelings for him. She’d tried her best to hide them, but she’d fallen in love with Ian and what was difficult was the fact that although he desired her, wanted her, the feelings weren’t reciprocated. It was her fault. She’d known from the start that he wasn’t interested in a long-term relationship. But that didn’t make it any easier to swallow.

  When they returned to Manhattan everything would be different. They would no longer be lovers but attorney and client. Sage wasn’t sure quite how she was going to make the transition.

  Once they arrived back at the beach house, they quickly packed and Ian filled her in on Lucas Johnson’s shenanigans in their absence. Sage was going to have to get her head out of the clouds and back to business. Her instincts told her that there had to be more to this whole scenario than Ian was divulging. How could their once-respectful relationship turn so sour?

  His private plane was waiting for them on the tarmac when they arrived at the airstrip. She was sure Jeffrey had a hand in this, but it still amazed Sage how Ian could snap his fingers and people jumped.

  Aboard the plane, Ian immersed himself in a hushed phone call on the sofa, while Sage made herself comfortable in one of the recliners far away from Ian. Better she get used to the distance than have cold water splashed on her upon their return.

  When his call ended, Ian closed his cell phone. “Why are you sitting all the way over there?”

  “I was giving you space,” Sage replied. It was more the other way around, but she wouldn’t admit it.

  “Sage,” Ian began, “I don’t want space.”

  Immediately Sage sensed his rueful tone and looked down. She didn’t want to hear that their time together was over.

  Ian rose and kneeled at her side. “I know I was kind of harsh earlier, but really nothing has to change.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Once we get back to Manhattan, this doesn’t have to end.”

  “You would like us to continue seeing each other?” Her heart sprang with hope although she dared not show it. Sage kept her face emotionless as she’d done in court. “I thought you didn’t do relationships?”

  “I don’t,” Ian said, but he also didn’t want to lose her either. In the short time they
’d known each other, Ian had grown very fond of Sage and of course there was the connection in the bedroom, which was unlike anything he’d ever encountered. “We can continue to enjoy each other so long as we both want.”

  “I see.” Sage sighed. So nothing had changed. He hadn’t come to the realization that he wanted more; he just didn’t want to lose her as a bedmate.

  “What do you say?” Ian smiled up at her.

  Sage wanted to shout “NO” and tell Ian that she wanted more than an occasional romp in the sack; she wanted a committed loving relationship that would lead to more, possibly even marriage. Sage didn’t want to be alone. She wanted a husband and a family someday, something she’d never had growing up.

  Yet she didn’t want to lose him. She loved him. “All right.”

  Ian cupped his hands behind her neck and pulled her forward into a kiss. “Good.” He rose to his feet and settled back onto the sofa and pulled a file from his briefcase.

  Sage watched him. It was so easy for him to go back to business as usual, but just how long would she be able to continue to deny her true feelings when her heart was on the line?

  Chapter 11

  Getting back to work Tuesday was much harder than Sage imagined. Gone were the sunny carefree days in Malibu frolicking with Ian on the beach or sailing off to Catalina on a moment’s notice. She was back to the rainy spring weather of Manhattan.

  Despite the great risk to her career, she’d agreed to continue seeing Ian once they returned to Manhattan. She knew she was playing with fire, but Sage was unable to let go of the man she’d come to care for so deeply. She loved his smile, his walk, the way he talked, his zest for adventure. Who else could have convinced her to try sailing? And then of course, he was a giving, passionate lover. The best she’d ever had. He always made sure she was satisfied, no matter the time, place or position. She had come a long way from a woman who just tolerated sex to a woman who actually enjoyed it. Ian had released the sexual being from within her. She hadn’t been able to resist him and she looked forward to resisting him even less tonight.