Insatiable Hunger Read online

  * * *

  “Babe, I’m so happy I came,” Hugh said after the crowd surrounding them dissipated, leaving him and Jessie alone. He swept her into his arms, but when he bent to kiss her, Jessie turned her head to the side. His eyebrows shot up in surprise. “What’s wrong?”

  Her lips twisted in a cynical smile. “What’s wrong? Really, Hugh? You didn’t even tell me you were coming and I’m supposed to welcome you with open arms?”

  His blue eyes regarded her warily. “Actually, yeah, that’s what I thought. Excuse me if I thought you might be happy to see me.”

  Jessie sighed. She should be happy to see him, but her reaction to Ryan tonight was a problem. She turned away from Hugh and walked swiftly toward the covered terrace. The committee had bedecked it with string lights and balloons. Since the night air held a chill, heaters had been strategically placed around the terrace.

  Hugh followed her, catching up in two quick strides, and spun her around. “Jessie, what’s going on?”

  “Nothing.” She looked down at the floor.

  “We may have been apart for a while, but I can tell when you have something on your mind. What is it?”

  After almost kissing Ryan, Jessie realized she was done with playing the “perfect couple.” She was tired of living up to everyone’s expectations. She knew her parents thought they would get married; expected her to be the dutiful daughter she’d always been. But Jessie didn’t think so. If she and Hugh were meant to be, there was no way Jessie would have had such an intense and passionate encounter with Ryan. She had to do the right thing and end their relationship.

  “I can’t do this.”

  “Do what?”

  “Be with you,” Jessie stated. “We. Aren’t. Working. We haven’t been for some time because you’re across the ocean. Besides, you and I both know that we’ve been together mainly because of our parents’ wishes, not because it’s what we both want.”

  “I’m sorry, Jessie. I know I’ve been caught up in my career, but surely you don’t mean what you’re saying. I’ve worked so hard for us—to build a better future.”

  “Hugh, we haven’t lived in the same place, let alone the same country, for years. How are we supposed to get married one day if we never spend any time with one another?”

  Hugh ruffled his hands through his dark curls. “I can’t leave my job right now. I’ve got major deals in the works. It would ruin everything I’ve been working toward.”

  “I know. Your career has always been more important than our relationship, which is why I think we need to break up.”

  “I see.”

  “Please tell me you understand,” Jessie pleaded.

  “I do. I haven’t been there for you and now you’re evaluating if you want to continue our relationship. But instead of breaking up, why don’t we take a break and think about what we both really want?”

  Jessie lowered her head and tears clouded her eyes. She’d always thought they would be together forever, but she wasn’t so sure now, not after tonight with Ryan. She glanced up at him through wet lashes. “Yes.”

  “Oh, sweetheart.” Hugh pulled her into his arms, cradling her underneath his chin. “It’s all right, take all the time you need and I’ll do the same. But know I’m rooting for us.”

  Jessie wished she could say the same, but the way she’d felt tonight with Ryan showed her she wasn’t as all-in on Hugh as she’d once thought. Otherwise why had she been thinking about Ryan the way she had tonight? She’d also come to realize that her own happiness came first, not what her parents or the citizens of Falling Brook expected from her.

  “Can we keep the break private?” Hugh asked, glancing down at her. “I don’t want to make it public or tell our parents yet in case...” His voice trailed off.

  Jessie understood. Hugh had always cared about what people thought of him—how he was perceived. She was sure he thought there was hope they would get back together. And why wouldn’t he? They were Falling Brook Prep’s golden couple. “Of course. It will stay between us.”

  They left the terrace and went back into the party, pretending to be the happy couple in front of their peers. But deep down, Jessie knew it was over between them because tonight her eyes had been opened to not only stop living her life according to her parents’ expectations, but finally to do what’s right for herself.

  Two

  Three months later

  “It’s good to see you, Ryan,” Jessie had said when he’d strode into the famous restaurant in lower Manhattan near the financial district. He’d unbuttoned his suit jacket and taken a seat across from her. Within minutes, they’d ordered and received their meals. They had little to talk about other than the weather.

  Ryan hadn’t seen Jessie since their ten-year high school reunion and had been surprised when, out of the blue, she’d asked him to lunch. With her busy career, Ryan had assumed she hardly gave lunch a thought, while he, on the other hand, believed in eating small meals throughout the day. He supposed it had something to do with being overweight as a preteen and the endless bullying he’d received. He now religiously watched his weight, which was why he was eating a grilled salmon and spinach salad at the exclusive eatery.

  Ryan sipped his club soda. “I was pleasantly surprised to get the invite.”

  Jessie released a long sigh. “You shouldn’t be. We were close once.”

  “That was a long time ago, Jessie.”

  “And I’d like to rectify that,” she stated.

  Ryan peered into her earnest eyes and, damn him, he believed her.

  Hadn’t he told himself he was saying goodbye to the decades-old crush he’d had on this woman since his voice had begun to change?

  He steepled his fingers together on the table. “I’m listening...” He measured his response. He wasn’t about to rush to judgment. This could be nothing more than loneliness in the big city. Perhaps Jessie was in need of a dose of the familiar?

  “Did you see the newspaper’s fifteenth-anniversary article about Black Crescent?”

  He was right. Jessie wanted a shoulder to cry on or someone to listen. In the past, he’d been all too willing to give an ear. Except this time, it was different. He wasn’t the young, naïve teenager he’d once been, hoping for a scrap of her time. He was done with wishing and hoping Jessie would see him differently. He was a grown man and he had plenty of women he could call who were eager to spend time with him. “Yes. It’s the same ole, same ole, Jessie. Why get rattled?”

  “It may be old news to you, but not to my family,” Jessie replied, dismay in her tone. “My father has never gotten over Black Crescent’s hedge fund tanking. When Vernon Lowell disappeared, my father lost his job, his friends and his country-club membership. He nearly lost the house, too, but somehow Mama was able to hang on to it.”

  Ryan heard the wounded tone in her voice. He, too, had always wondered how the Acostas had managed to stay in their five-bedroom house when many of the other Falling Brook scions had fallen. He doubted Mrs. Acosta could have been making much in her receptionist job at O’Malley Luxury Motors, Hugh’s father’s company. “I’m glad your parents were able to keep the house. Otherwise, you and I wouldn’t have remained friends.”

  Jessie pursed her lips. “Yeah, but it was never the same, was it? I know I pulled away from our friendship.”

  Ryan was shocked Jessie was owning up to it. As the years had gone by, he’d watched their relationship steadily fade into a shadow of its former self. “Why did you?”

  Jessie was silent for several moments, then reached for her water glass, sipping generously. “When I learned that Jack O’Malley paid for Pete’s and my tuition at Falling Brook Prep, I felt like I owed them my loyalty, you know? How could I forget what he’d done? Because of him, we were able to stay at prep school when most of our classmates had to withdraw and enroll in public school.”

  “
I can understand your need to show your appreciation, but it didn’t stop there, Jessie, and we both know why.”

  She arched a brow. “What do you have against Hugh?”

  “Hugh? I don’t want to talk about him.” Ryan’s mouth clenched tightly. “We were talking about Black Crescent and the impact it had not only on your family but our friendship.”

  Jessie took the bait and stopped talking about his rival. “That exposé brought to the surface all those old wounds. My mother said my father was beside himself after reading it and refused to come out of his study for the rest of the day. And then Joshua Lowell had that press conference to announce he was stepping down as CEO to live happily-ever-after. How dare he! He shouldn’t get a happy ending after what his family did to the rest of us.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that about your dad,” Ryan said. “Truly I am. And I get that Black Crescent has a black stain in your book. But what if someone could come along to revitalize it with fresh ideas to make the company better, more transparent?”

  Jessie stared at him with a dumbfounded expression. “Why do you sound like a walking interviewee?”

  Ryan took a forkful of salad and focused on chewing his food. This was a conversation he was not looking forward to. He’d known one day it would come, but it had come sooner than he liked.

  Jessie’s eyes grew large with expectation. “Well?”

  “I’ve interviewed for the CEO position at Black Crescent. When Joshua Lowell made a formal announcement that he was stepping down to focus on his art career, that he’d gotten engaged and was currently in search for a successor, I tossed my hat into the ring.”

  “You’ve done what?” Her raised voice caused several patrons to openly stare in their direction.

  Ryan wiped his mouth with his napkin. “Can you lower your voice, please?”

  “I can’t,” she hissed. “You’re making the worst mistake of your life! How can you even consider working for the family—the company—that destroyed mine? I thought we were friends.”

  “We are.”

  “Then how can you do this?”

  Ryan reached across the table for Jessie’s hand, but she shrank back in her chair, away from him. He took that one on the chin. He knew his announcement would come as a shock to her, but the position had also been a way for him to cut off feelings for her full-stop. He knew that working at Black Crescent, the company Jessie despised, was a surefire way to keep her away. She blamed Black Crescent for all her family’s financial troubles and her father’s inability to move forward with his life.

  Her beautiful face was flushed bright red. “Why does it have to be you?”

  “With my MBA and background, I’m uniquely qualified to take on the role. Who better to repair Black Crescent’s damaged reputation?”

  “Not you. When I spoke to Hugh, he thought—”

  Ryan interrupted her, cutting off her sentence. “Wait just a minute. Hugh...hasn’t been in Falling Brook in years. What would he know about the company?”

  “He called me when Jack told him about the press conference.”

  When Ryan rolled his eyes, she pointed her index finger at him. “There it is.”

  “What is?”

  “The animosity you always have whenever I bring up Hugh. Why do you dislike him so much?”

  “I couldn’t care less about Hugh,” Ryan replied. “But you? You’re giving this guy, who’s been MIA for years, too much credit. I mean, how well do you even know him? When was the last time you spent any significant amount of time with the man?”

  Was he pushing Jessie to admit her relationship with Hugh was a sham because he hadn’t truly gotten over her? He’d stubbornly forced himself to forget about the almost kiss they’d shared at the reunion, but sitting across from Jessie now reminded him of how strong the attraction between them still was.

  * * *

  Jessie stared at Ryan in disbelief. The Ryan she remembered was always quiet, shy and even-keeled, yet the man sitting in front of her was anything but. In fact, she would say he was the opposite. He was confident with lots of swagger.

  When he’d walked into the restaurant, Jessie had forced herself not to wag her tongue in delight. He’d looked resplendent in a gray suit, white shirt and skinny silver-striped tie, just as he had three months ago when she’d seen him at the ten-year reunion. She’d thought the heady, powerful feelings he’d evoked in her when they’d danced together had been a fluke.

  A flare of heat had sparked within her on the dance floor, warming her in a way that surprised the heck out of her. If Hugh hadn’t interrupted when he had, Jessie was certain Ryan would have kissed her and she would have liked it. That had been the most confounding thing of all. The unexpected desire she’d felt for her old friend.

  So she’d pushed it down, spending the last few months purging her heightened emotions by working tirelessly at the law firm until well after dark. She’d tried convincing herself she’d imagined it, but she hadn’t. The flame was there now, burning as bright as it had that night.

  “Are you going to answer me?” Ryan asked, breaking into her thoughts. She saw the faintest clench of his jaw as his eyes narrowed at her. “Or can you not recall the last time you saw the great Hugh O’Malley? Was it the reunion? If so, that was months ago.”

  His tone brought Jessie out of her musings. “My relationship with Hugh is my business.”

  “You made it mine when you brought him into the conversation to pass along his advice. And I’m calling a spade a spade. You’ve been with the man on and off for years. Mostly off, in my opinion. Yet the consensus has always been that you’re going to marry the guy. I’m pointing out that you might not know him enough to make such a monumental decision.”

  She knew that. It was why she’d agreed with Hugh to take a break. They’d texted frequently or FaceTimed and Skyped as often as they could for much of their relationship. And while Hugh attended Harvard and Wharton, they’d been able to maintain some semblance of being a couple, but it had been difficult with their demanding studies. However, when Hugh had decided to accept a job in London, straight out of Wharton, Jessie had been taken aback.

  She’d thought Hugh would want to be closer, not farther apart. He’d insisted their relationship was strong enough to handle the distance and time apart. It hadn’t been. Instead, Jessie had begun to feel restless, as if the life she’d carved out for herself was no longer enough. So she’d pushed herself harder at work, but that hadn’t brought her the fulfillment she’d thought it would. She needed more.

  “I admit marriage is a huge step,” Jessie finally responded, “And we are not there yet.” She had no idea where her relationship with Hugh stood at the moment. She didn’t appreciate Ryan shining a light on it. “But, Hugh is a stand-up guy and the O’Malleys are good people.”

  “So you would marry him for his family? Because you feel obligated?”

  “Of course not,” she huffed. Though sometimes she felt that way, she couldn’t tell Ryan that. “You’re purposely misunderstanding me.”

  “Am I? Do you even know what you really want?”

  Jessie narrowed her eyes. “Of course I do. There’s no rush to jump into marriage. Hugh and I are focusing on our careers right now. It’s been hard for me as an associate at my firm. I have to prove myself. It’s the same for Hugh. We both have big dreams.”

  “Which is keeping you both on different continents. Sounds romantic.”

  “Don’t presume to judge me, Ryan, when you don’t have a relationship yourself.”

  “You don’t know that,” he countered.

  Jessie stared into his dark brown eyes. Was he trying to get under her skin? Because if he was, it was working. Her nerves were frazzled imagining Ryan with someone else. Was it because she wanted him for herself? Her mind burned with visions of Ryan and another woman in an intimate embrace and she rapidly blinked to rid
herself of the damning images. “Are you dating someone?”

  He was silent for several beats before saying, “Not at the moment. But that’s not to say I haven’t enjoyed an active dating life. I’ve had girlfriends.”

  Girlfriends. Plural. “Bully for you.”

  Had she imagined Ryan was sitting home alone on the couch in front of the television waiting for her to acknowledge him? If so, she’d been wrong. He was a good-looking man and clearly finding someone to spend time with hadn’t been a problem for him.

  “Why should you care, Jessie? We’re just friends, after all.”

  Jessie offered a bland smile even though she felt quite the opposite. She hadn’t thought about Ryan like a friend since reunion night. “That’s right. I want you to be happy.”

  “Good, then accept that I know what’s best for me,” Ryan stated. “And the opportunity to run Black Crescent and clean up its image is what I want.”

  Jessie frowned. “Are we back to that?”

  “We never left.”

  Her eyes found his and his stare was uncompromising. He was digging in his heels. She sucked in a long-drawn breath. “I guess you can do whatever you want, but I can’t support you on this, Ryan. It goes against everything I believe and against my family.”

  “I understand. Just don’t fight me.”

  She chuckled. “Now you’re asking too much. Fighting with you is one of my favorite pastimes.” When they’d been younger, she would often give him the business to get a rise out of him.

  “How about we stop fighting and have some fun?”

  Jessie was surprised Ryan still wanted a relationship with her. Since the night of the reunion, he’d kept his distance. She suspected this potential job with Black Crescent was a way for him to create further distance between them. But until the reunion, she hadn’t realized how much she’d missed him the past couple of years and the open camaraderie they’d always shared.

  “Did you have something in mind?” she asked.